Are you open to learning?
When I became a mother, I thought this would always be my role, to teach my children the ways of the world. It never occurred to me that my children would be the ones to teach me many life lessons.
It wasn’t until the other day and I was out with one of my children having one on one time (this doesn’t happen often enough unfortunately), and they explained why they were behaving the way they were. I was shocked at how articulate this child was in explaining this to me and how confused they also were at how to alter this behaviour. I was listening, truly listening, something I only half-heartedly did before I had children. My children have taught me how to listen, a skill many people take for granted.
Here is a list of things my children have taught me over the past 15 years:
- My children have taught me to show my emotions. I hold my cards very close to my chest, not letting people in just in case I get hurt. With my children, I have opened up, finally letting people in (even if it is a little) and have let these emotions become exposed.
- My children have taught me to be empathetic. I always thought I understood empathy but I realise it was more on a superficial level. They have taught me to see the person, the real person and feel what they are feeling without being patronising.
- My children have taught me to listen. As a young adult, I would listen to what I wanted to hear, not what the person was really telling me. Now I listen, really listen and this has allowed me get to know some amazing people I otherwise would have ignored.
- My children have taught me to not allow others to control how I am feeling. It is more important to look in the mirror and like what you see than look at your reflection, hoping to see what others expect.
- My children have taught me to not hold grudges. Bitchiness comes naturally to many young girls and women but it’s negativity eats away inside causing immense pain. Getting out of the cycle by not participating and letting go of people who do, was like a weight being lifted off my shoulders. Try it.
- My children have taught me to value time and live in the now. This has been a hard lesson for me as I am always planning the next thing and use to worry about what others were doing. Now I cherish the moment I am in, forget the rest of the world and this generates beautiful memories.
- My children have taught me to be brave. Getting out of my comfort zone was lost when I first started a family as I didn’t ever want to rock the boat. Now I am more confident to have those difficult discussions with people and if they don’t like it, so be it.
- My children have taught me that saying it and doing it are two different things. People are quick to say what you want to hear but the real meaning behind those words comes in the actions.
- My children have taught me acceptance of others. Judging others before I knew them was something I did as a child and young adult. I think back to all the people I judged and how they must have judged me too without taking anytime to understand who I really was. Not anymore thanks to my kids.
- My children have reminded me that I can dream and achieve my goals. This lessons faded for a few years as I became lost in the world of being a mother. I didn’t realise I could still put myself first at times and that I could live my dreams alongside my families.
Are you still learning?
Linking up with Essentially Jess