A few years ago I could honestly say that I wasn’t often shocked by what people did. The reason I wasn’t shocked, is because I was too judgemental instead. If someone didn’t try to conform or fit in with the norm, I would judge them and wonder why they were trying to be difficult.
I was not comfortable with being different.
My judgemental days are disappearing as I now know what I like and what I don’t like and I am comfortable with that. Others around me can do whatever they like and if it doesn’t match my likes, that’s OK too as I no longer worry about things like that. I am happy to be different to those around me.
Growing up I would never have behaved in this way and would never be comfortable with being different. As a teenager, if all my friends liked INXS, then that is who I would ultimately like too. If the majority of my friends wanted to have the ‘Rachel ‘ from Friends haircut, then that was the hair cut I would opt for too.
It has taken years for me to not worry about always conforming and being comfortable if what I choose to do is not always the same as those around me.
Recently I was shocked by a simple situation with one of my children and just how comfortable they were with being different.
Let me paint the picture:
- A group of 3 friends ( already I’m uncomfortable with this as someone usually feels left out)
- A catch up session
- Listening to their conversation I find out 2 love this particular band while 1 doesn’t .
- This band is having a concert and the one that doesn’t like the band opts not to attend the concert, happy to miss out while the other 2 friends go. (Shocked – I still would have gone).
- A sleep over is discussed.
- One pulls out and says they haven’t been home in ages and should really see their family ( shocked – miss out on a sleepover with 2 best friends… Ummm never)
- I Over hear them talking about going to a party in a couple of weeks but 1 is not keen as doesn’t want to bump into a certain person. Other 2 still going and 3rd child doesn’t care. ( shocked… I have no words)
These teenagers were all comfortable with being different from their friends and not afraid to stand out by saying no just to be a part of the group. I love this and feel like I am doing an alright job as a mum because my child doesn’t stress over silly things I did as a child.
I am comfortable with being different but this has taken years. I am ecstatic that my children are learning to be comfortable in their own skin, regardless of what those around them are doing or saying.
Three cheers for motherhood this week – definitely a win.
When have you had a win for motherhood?
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