Things have changed here in recent weeks and I know they are never going to go back to what they once were.
For over 15 years I have been a mother and loved every minute of it – even the stuff that has brought me to tears. Each time a child moves into a different stage of life there is an adjustment period and a massive learning curve – for both the child and the parent. There is so much information out there for mums having their first baby, or dealing with a toddler tantrum or cooking healthy foods for fussy eaters. Where is all the information out there for mums with older children – we are still learning everyday too.
I consider myself a pretty good mum – an awesome mum in fact. Since they were all babies, I have probably been the most important person in their lives, the one who has been their greatest influence.
Not any more. With my younger 3 children, I think I still hold the title of the ‘most important person’ but I have lost the No.1 position with Ashlea. She is spending more time with her friends than ever before. She confides in her friends more than she confides in me. She is moving away from me and there is nothing I can do to stop it. How am I meant to deal with this?
I know she loves me and we are still very close but there has been a shift in our relationship and it has made me sad.
My beautiful little girl use to:
- wake in the morning, her eyes excited to see me.
- hug me so hard I thought I would break
- plant sloppy kisses on my cheek for no reason
- hold my hand in public, proud to be walking with mum
- sit so close to me on the couch, our bodies became entwined
- content to just be around me
- be the first and only person she poured her heart out to.
My beautiful big girl now:
- wakes in the morning, hating the fact it is morning
- hugs me with a gentle kindness
- kisses my cheek like a mother daughter should
- rarely holds my hand but occasionally sneaks one in.
- prefers to sit where she has her own space.
- content with me but I am not as cool as her friends
- confides in her gorgeous special friends
This is the first time I have experienced a shift in one of the most precious relationships in my life and my heart breaks a little more everyday. I don’t know how I am meant to feel.
I love that she is growing up but I hate that she has to grow up so soon.
I love that she is becoming independent but I hate that she no longer needs me like she use to need her mum.
I love that she is turning into a beautiful young woman but I am scared of losing her forever.
Can you help me?