I love women and I’m out and proud to say I’m a feminist. But the one thing that annoys the crap out of me is the way women JUDGE other women.
Every mother across the world (well 98% give or take) do the best they possibly can for their child. Every decision we make on their behalf, is at the time, the best decision we can possibly make.
Decisions are not made with a half-hearted effort.
Decisions are not made by choosing the second best option.
Decisions are not made by choosing the WORST possible option.
For those who don’t know me, I have 4 children – 2 now in high school and 2 still in primary school. When my eldest child successfully got a scholarship to a fantastic school, it was not an easy decision to make about whether we accepted it or not. I actually didn’t think she would get the scholarship so I didn’t think I was ever going to have to make this decision. My dilemma was, my eldest 2 children are girls and I always thought they would go to the same school – like I did with my sisters. However, if we accepted the scholarship, it meant my girls would go to different schools because they are very different girls and my second daughter would have drowned at the academic school my eldest daughter attends.
After many tears (and I do mean I cried hysterically) we accepted the scholarship and made the decision that our girls would attend different high schools. The following year when I made the decision about the high school my second daughter would attend, the comments (mostly negative) shocked the crap out of me. And to make matters worse, most of these comments were from mothers who didn’t actually have high school children and were judging a school simply by gossip.
Yes, I made the decision to send my child to the WORST possible school I could think of – according to these judgmental women.
It upset me. How dare they judge my choice of school for my child! How dare they demean this difficult decision! Were these women perfect? I think not.
One day while I was in the primary school my boys attend, I was asked about the high school my second daughter was going to. When I mentioned the school, a woman in the group (who has 2 younger girls) said ‘Oh I will never send my girls there. I have only ever heard bad things about that school.”
I nearly died and my protective instincts cut in quickly with my response, “Well obviously I am a bad mum then.” I walked away, left the school ground and burst into tears.
Why was this woman judging my decision? Why are some women so judgmental?
In the hectic life we live these days and all the information we have at our fingertips, making a decision on which school you send your child to is such a difficult one. No one wants to be told they have chosen the worst possible school for their child.
If women listened more and judged less, parenting insecurities would decrease. We should be on the same side – helping to raise a generation of happy, healthy and confident little people.
Do you know a judgemental woman?