Have you ever done any of these when it comes to sending text messages?
- You’re in a hurry and just want to send a quick message about plans for later today.
- Want someone to know you are thinking about them but don’t have time to actually speak to them.
- Answered a question with a simple yes or no.
- Sent your boss a text saying you are no feeling well and will have a day off work.
- Been so impatient that someone didn’t reply to your message you sent another 5 messages asking for a response.
If you have done any of these recently you may be ruining your relationship.
Texting is an unemotional way to communicate, unless you continually add in a happy/sad/angry emoji. It is very easy to misread a text message from one of instruction to one of demand. It is easy to misread a message from one of short quick answer because you are busy to one of ‘Are you in a bad mood?’
Recently Ashlea sent me a text asking for something. My response was ‘yes’ to which she replied ‘Are you in a bad mood with me?’ I was in a meeting and couldn’t really send a longer message but I wanted her to know I was OK with her request. My simple response of Sure Darl (without any emotion) was misread as anger or annoyance. For such a simple way to communicate, it is actually quite a complicated form of communication.
There has to be rules when reading text messages or you could spend you entire life wondering what the hidden meaning behind the message is. To stop texting ruining your relationship, here are 5 rules when reading a text message:
- Unless the message is specific, read every message in a positive tone. If the response is one word, do not interpret that as an angry response, read it as if they are busy and have time only for a quick answer.
- The idea of texting is to be short and to the point so read the message as exactly that – a written message which gets directly to the point without all the added fluff.
- Don’t over think a message. If the person you are texting has a problem with you, let them have the courage to call you. Read the message as you would expect the response and let the other person deal with making the wrong interpretation. The worst thing you can do is read the message to correlate with your emotions.
- If you do not get an immediate response, it is not necessarily because they are ignoring you or angry with you. Picture the person you are texting is without their phone at the time and when they finally pick their phone up, they will happily respond.
- We are naturally selfish but before putting the blame on someone else, re-read your message before sending it if it is a sensitive message as you want your messages to be clear and with limited chance of being interpreted in the wrong way.
Now that we know how to read messages, lets talk about 6 rules on sending text messages to stop them ruining your relationship:
- Never text when you are upset. This is the golden rule of texting. When people are upset, thoughts can be clouded and texting will come across that way. Before hastily replying to a message when upset, wait until to have had a chance to think over what you really want to get out of your response.
- If the text is emotional or important, it is best to make a phone call so the emotion or importance of the conversation will come across in the tone of your voice. This way the message can not be misinterpreted.
- Don’t over share in a text message. It is easy to hide behind words typed on a phone but once these words are out, they are never coming back.
- Don’t use too many abbreviations. With new slang words happening every day, it is difficult to keep track of them all. Sending a text message with too many slang words can either confuse the reader, change the actual context of the message or can be really irritating.
- If you are bitching about someone, make sure you have the correct person you are sending the message to before you hit send.
- Always double check AUTO-CORRECT.
Be careful before you hit send.
Have you ever made a major mistake in a text message?