Mum or Friend? – What is better?
For those of you who love to read our blog, you will clearly see that Ashlea and I are great friends. We have lots in common and for most of the time we get on extremely well. This isn’t hard as Ash is a great kid (or young lady) and easy to communicate with. However, there are times when I need to put my parenting hat on and I am finding this more and more difficult with her. What is better – to be a mum or friend first?
I consider myself a friend to Ash but on an adult level, unlike the way she behaves with friends her own age. I know I don’t always see the ‘real’ Ash as her friends do but then she doesn’t often see the ‘real’ me as I am around my friends. The worlds should not often connect as this might change the way we perceive each other. Even though I try to keep these worlds apart, at times they must clash and I enter her world – as mother/daughter. I hate telling her off as it feels like I am telling of one of my friends. And I know she struggles with me when I reprimanding her too.
With my younger children I am a lot better when it comes to parenting. I don’t feel the enormous amount of guilt I feel with Ashlea and I don’t feel like I am betraying a friendship. As my other children get older I can see this altering and where will that leave me – A complete pile of guilt. I need to work harder in this area as I tell Ashlea that I am her friend but will always be Mum first. Sometimes even those words feel like a lie.
When have you struggled between playing the parent and the friend?