I am competitive by nature, something my parents taught me growing up. If I am going to do something, I am going to give it 100% or I can’t be bothered even turning up. My parents also taught me that in everything in life, there will always be a winner and loser and by teaching children to fail – or at least teaching children that failing is a part of life, will not harm them.
My children are currently spread over 3 schools and a mixture between high school and primary school. Every other week something is happening at one of the schools whether it be a sports event, an academic event or an extra curricular event, they are busy kids. In most of these events, someone will win and unfortunately (or fortunately in my case) someone will lose. I have taught my kids IT IS OK TO LOSE.
I have been teaching my children to fail for years. Yes I know that sounds like I am a bad mum and feel free to judge me. When I say I have been teaching children to fail I mean I have been teaching them to accept losing is part of life – suck it up and move on.
I am over the awards children get for simply turning up.
I am over the participation award.
I am over the ‘we do not score anymore’ because then we will have to announce that one team was better than the other and that just might destroy a child’s confidence.
I am over the grading of ‘satisfaction’ on report cards.
- What happens to our children when they finish school at 17 or 18 years old – head out into the big wide world and get rejected?
- What happens to our children when they fail their driver’s licence?
- What happens to our children when they apply for a job and are not successful because someone else was “better” than them?
- What happens to our children when they finally realise that we are not all equal and there will always be someone who is better than them?
- What ever happened to teaching our children to be resilient?
It is OK to lose.
It is OK to teach our children that they will not always win a race but to be happy for the person who did win.
It is OK to teach our children that they do not have to be great at everything and somethings are really hard.
When children are little, they hate losing. When children are older, they hate losing. However, as the adult in the situation, we know that losing is a natural part of life and as much as we all hate it, we need to teach our children how to deal with it.
Linking up With Some Grace