What it is like to be a perfect mum…
I remember the day I gave birth to my eldest child 15 years ago. I was in ore of this little person and everything about her I absolutely loved.
I was determined to be the perfect mum to my daughter and nothing or nobody was going to stop me.
There would be no dummies.
There would be material nappies that I changed religiously every 2-4 hours.
There would be a strict routine at sleep time.
Oh how the list went on and on. I think I managed to be the perfect mum in the hospital (but I had help) and I kept up this perfect mum dream for about 25 hours.
What I thought was supposed to happen – didn’t. What I thought wasn’t supposed to happen – did. I was more confused in the first year of parenting than in my entire life. I thought I would be a natural at being a mother but it’s not that easy.
This is where the confusion came in about being the perfect mum.
What I thought would happen:
1. Breast Feed my baby every 3-4 hours and they would settle after every feed.
2. My boobs would produce the perfect amount of high quality milk.
3. My baby would only cry when hungry or when her nappy was wet.
4. A sleep routine would be easy to set up and even easier to maintain.
5. I would be organised every day and never late to an appointment.
6. My baby would be dresses immaculately, never wearing a bib unless it was dinner time.
7. There would be no need to any form security for my child- no dummy, no blanket, no special toy.
8. I would shower everyday of course.
9. I would wear sexy lingerie for my husband ( oh and I would wear a bra everyday of course).
10. When it comes to food, my child would eat every vegetable that I made fresh.
I would like to say this happened in the first 12 months of being the perfect mum. But I was wrong, so very very wrong. It was my first day at home alone with the baby after hubby went back to work and I had an amazing day planned. I would do a 6am feed, put my beautiful baby back to bed ( and she would immediately settle) while I would have a shower and dress in a beautiful girly dress. I would sit and read the paper while sipping on a hot coffee and eating a healthy breakfast. Next I would put a load of washing on, tidy the house before the baby woke up again around 10am. After her next feed we would walk down to the shops to get food for dinner. Bubs would sleep the entire time as I happily purchased food, looking like the perfect mum.
Ok ok this story sounds amazing and somewhere in my dreams, this actually happened. When I woke up from that dream, this is actually what happens as a perfect mum:
- Breast fed every hour on the hour for a few days under sheer exhaustion.
- My boobs let me down, getting mastitis and forcing me to put one of my kids on a bottle.
- What – babies cry for no bloody reason. No-one told me that.
- Sleep – what the hell is that? I think sleep is over rated anyway.
- Leaving the house without vomit on your back became an achievement
- In the end, bubs lived in bibs – and the clothes were never really seen
- All 4 of my children had a security blanket – and I’m proud of it.
- If I showered every couple of days – my hubby was very impressed.
- I got excited when my boobs no longer leaked through my clothes. As for sexy lingerie, I still have none. Big nana pants for me.
- As long as they ate – I no longer had the energy to care.
So as you can see – I AM THE PERFECT MUM – and very proud of it.
What do you do to be the perfect mum?