I have just come back from a meeting with the school and am now questioning everything. As I sit here writing this post, my stomach is in knots and tears are rolling down my cheeks.
A mother’s instincts is to protect her children at all costs, like a lioness with her cubs. And I think I do that well without going too far (like threatening another child’s life if they dare push my child again). There are some things I can protect my children from but unfortunately there are some things that are out of my control.
So I ask you – what is normal anyway?
One of my children needs a little more help than the others, and I’m OK with that. We have worked hard over the years to make sure this child gets the support they need. I have fought so hard for this child as I am THEIR voice until they are old enough to tell me to shut up. I love this child to death and my heart breaks every time I see this child struggle.
Once again I ask you – What is normal anyway?
I have lived the past few years in a little bit of denial. A few years ago we had this child tested, both externally from the school, and internally with the school after some serious
PUSHING convincing from me. We received a result that through my world upside-down. No way was this the result. I was ready to demand we have our child retested but my husband said I got what I wanted for our child – extra help at school. So I put the report in the filing cabinet and carried on with life happy my child was getting extra assistance at school.
Until today. Late last year the government decided my child needed to be retested and the results are a little worse than 3 years ago. NOOOOOOO. How can this be true? This child is my world and this is something I can’t protect them from.
I hate the word “normal”. I hate IQ tests. I hate that society has a standard of what is normal and that my child doesn’t fit that mould. I hate that I am so upset. I hate that my emotions have taken over my every thought today. I hate that I am so angry. I hate that I can’t change the results.
I thought I was a good parent but now reading these results I hate all those times I shouted at this child. I may have been doing this parenting thing for 15 years but I am still learning EVERYDAY.
As a mum, I will be there for this child in every way I can. I will support this child in all aspects of life and protect them whenever possible. I will cry with this child, I will laugh with this child and I will love them more than they will ever know.
Now I can’t see the screen on my Mac through tears, so it is time to sign off and work out “What is normal anyway”? Thanks for listening.