For those who know me I have been working full-time for just over 2 months now and I am bloody exhausted. My battery is dead yet I am still required to be the Energiser bunny and run around like a blue-arsed fly (what is a blue-arsed fly?).
It has taken me this long to feel the effects of working full-time and trying to run a house with 1 husband, 4 children and a dog.
I am flat, I am struggling and I need help. So where do people go to when they are desperate and in need of a quick fix. You got it – GOOGLE. This is the advice google gave me to help recharge my dead battery:
1. Inspect the physical appearance of your battery before jump starting. So I did. Physical appearance – looks a little burnt out around the edges, lost its sparkly shine and releases an unrecognisable odor.
- Solution: Apparently when your battery is dead and looks like mine an expert is required. This expert took the form of a masseuse to remove the burnt edges, a facial for a deep clean and to bring back the shine and a shower (who would have guessed).
2. Wear safety goggles and rubber gloves before touching the dead battery in any way. So I did. In my exhausted state I started to emulate a minion no longer caring about my external appearance.
- Solution: What does a dead battery and a 40 yr old female minion have in common? NEVER HAVING SEX AGAIN
3. Verify the cables attached to your dead battery are secure. So I did. Four children who lead extremely busy lives are still wanting a taxi driver – check. One husband who does shift work needs my attention when I’m trying to sleep – check. One job that is taking over more hours than I have left in a day – check.
- Solution: Just to make sure those cables are secure, add in teenage hormones, school holidays, a hangover and that time of the month.
4. Move into a position where the dead battery can be jump started by a fully charged battery. So I did. I got that massage. I got that facial. I had that shower. I took off the safety goggles and gloves. I delegated some cables out.
- Solution: Thank you to GOOGLE for your instructions on recharging a dead battery and thank you to the fully charged battery who managed to recharge my battery – even if for a short while.